Is your late night snack creation talent reflected in your SEO skills?

There are different degrees of any endeavor. Late night snacking can be an artform, or stale pretzels and a warm beer. For my wife, it is popcorn and an bottle of O’Douls. But that’s just what it looks like on the surface. In reality, the proportion of olive oil to butter is super critical. So is the fresh ground tri-colored pepper, the large particle gourmet salt, and nutritional yeast. The non-alcoholic beer can only be amber, and is chilled in the freezer for 28 minutes – which is exactly 26 seconds before the bursting glass shrapnel point. She is passionate about her snackin’!

What is SEO? SMM? What goes on in the minds of a search engine specialist or social media marketer? Is it just a gig, or also a passion? Is it just a sleepy slice of greasy iridescent green coated two week old meatloaf and some graham crackers, or a fantastic free range organic creative mix downloaded from both sides of the brain spinning at 7200 rpms?

How a 94 Year Old Musician from The Bronx Can Inspire SEO Tips

Old band inspiration for SEO

SEO lessons to learn from an old band

My 94 year old father is a lifelong professional musician. When he came home very late at night after a gig, he would say that he needed to ‘unwind’. That usually meant he took a little side trip to that popular 60’s imaginary beertown called Schaefer City, while he relaxed in front of a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western on the TV, eating some sliced yellow Velveeta cheese on Ritz crackers. I followed in his footsteps and became a professional musician too. I was never into beer, can’t watch the same movie more than once, and am a much better cook than my Dad – so my method of ‘unwinding’ after a show was with a Pepsi, surfing 800-plus cable channels without finding anything I wanted to watch for more than five minutes, and the continuation with the pursuit of making the perfect late night English muffin pizza.

What is SEO? Oh, Well, …Maybe the Answer Lives in the Back of the Fridge!

You need the Thomas’ brand – no substitutions! …and you need the right sauce, the perfect cheese, and the diligent attitude of achieving perfection – as reflected in the results: an amazing creation from a large variety of ingredients that interact to become something much greater than the sum of the individual parts. A creative chef and a search engine optimization specialist often try to create something from nothing.

Are SEO tips hiding in here?

Any SEO / SMM ideas in the back of the fridge?
photo credit: La Fouine Cuisine, CA

You know, an English muffin pizza is not generally considered an internationally recognized gourmet cuisine food item. It’s really just a late night what-can-I-make-out-of-some-stuff-living-in-the-back-of-the-fridge concoction. But life is certainly what you make of it,, and so is both cooking and SEO.

…but How About Applying Your SEO / SMM skills to a Toilet Bowl Cleaning Brush with Anti-Bacterial Coating?

Yeah, that’s something you want to spend your day marketing. It could have been some cutting edge sports car, a hip little indie record label, or a major league baseball team – but instead, your new client makes toilet bowl cleaning brushes. Snore! Ick! Why me!

Re-thinking a Trashy, Pedestrian Late Night Snack

Is it possible to take that round bumpy piece of glorified toast and turn it into a new taste sensation? Yeah, it is! Imagine your ultimate goal and accept the challenge with creative focus and enthusiasm. OK, so this stupid thing sits in the corner of the bathroom, and then once a week scrapes poop remnants. You gotta problem with that? The owner of the company talks about this product as if they just designed the 2G NASA space shuttle, and he totally wants it to get to Mars before the competition. So what is SEO? What is a search engine optimization specialist? What is a website value sculptor? What is a social media marketing strategy artist?

It is someone with the ability, as a professional, to thrive on the challenge. Someone who will pick up that stinky dripping toilet bowl brush in their hand and say, “I am going to turn YOU into a rock star!”

Use an equal blend of intuition, research and technique – and if you hit a dead end door that is shut, acquire the knowledge you need to either blow it open or pick the lock.

There is ultimate satisfaction in doing the unthinkable. Creation has no boundaries. What is SEO, SMM? How do you accomplish your marketing goals and strategies? It is a fine interactive art of combinations over time, every week closer to where you want your destination to be, the place where a look back at the starting point will jog your memory into thinking, ”I can’t believe we came from way the heck back there!” Being content and satisfied squirting Cheez Whiz on crumbly borderline stale Ritz crackers is equivalent to ‘phoning it in’ for the dullest clients, or the ones with the limited budgets.

It might be a daunting task to figure out an ingenious way to give website value to a site of a molded white plastic bristle thing that has to do an even a more s*#!%y job than you have at hand! If you are successful, it will be an extremely satisfying accomplishment that sparks your confidence, and will be a flagship displaying your talent to all future clients.

…and now the moment you’ve been waiting for:

Here’s the Most Major of SEO Tips for All You Search Engine Optimization Specialists Out There

You Want To Know the Absolute Best Way to Give ANY URL UWV (Ultimate Website Value)? – Just Post This Incredible Pizza Recipe on It!!!!!

Ralph Legnini’s Perfect English Muffin Pizza Recipe:

Late night SEO muffins

SEO and SMM appetite

Homemade Puttanesca sauce:

  • Saute four large cloves of garlic in a ¼ cup of the best olive oil you got.
  • When lightly brown, add one one 29 oz can of imported Italian whole tomatoes, one 29 oz can of tomatoe puree, 3 oz of capers along with 6 Tbs spoons of the caper juice from the jar, one can of diced pitted black olives, ½ cup olive juice, ½ tsp fresh ground pepper &  ½ tsp salt.
  • Cook on a low flame for approximately 50 minutes – until sauce thickens and your house smells like a little town in Naples.
  • Let cool, pour into a large glass jar and introduce it to its new home in the back of the fridge.
  • On the ‘unwinding’ night of actually assembly, toast – in a toaster, broiler, or toaster oven – two Thomas’ English muffins until golden brown on both sides.
  • Dribble each one with the best primo quadruple virgin olive oil you can find.
  • Heat some of your magic puttanesca sauce, and put 2 ½ Tbs spoons on each muffin.
  • Slice up a dozen fresh pitted kalamata olives and distribute them equally on top of each muffin.
  • Sprinkle each muffin with a very tiny pinch of oregano.
  • Top with a generous layer of sliced fresh mozzarella cheese.
  • Brown in your oven broiler or toaster oven – and DON’T burn them while you are busy Facebooking ’bout your pending masterpiece.
  • …and presto – when the cheese melts they’re done!!
  • Enjoy your Perfect English Muffin Pizzas with the late night beverage of your choice while trying to describe the essence of your savory sensation to all your followers in under 140 characters!!!!

Follow this recipe whenever you need to ‘unwind’ at night – after cranking it all day as an astute search engine optimization specialist & brilliant social media marketing strategist – the dude or dude-ess who can say, “You want me to answer your – what is SEO / SMM question? – then just Google “HOW DO I CLEAN MY TOILET” and see the results – or look in the corner of your own bathroom – It was SEO / SMM creativity that got you to the point of having to make a special trip to Target in a blizzard to buy that thing – ’cause the free overnight shipping on the online order page just wasn’t going to be quick enough!

Hooray!!! Yea! Way 2 go! You Rock! Extreme Cleverness!

…and that feeling of tremendous accomplishment will be equal (or greater) to the way I felt after perfecting the Art of the English Muffin Pizza! Enjoy!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 and is filed under Search Engine Optimization.

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