First off, anyone who thinks this is just some fairytale or myth need to read the cold hard facts before jumping to conclusions (for example, this…interesting kid who actually thinks becoming a dragon is possible). The method of transformation outlined there is slightly different from the one that I am presently using to become more than human (i.e. an enormous, winged, wise, fire-breathing reptile of some kind), but it nonetheless carries a key point that all dragons can agree on: imagination is sorely needed.
So what exactly is my special way of attaining this dream that is on the hearts and minds of many? Well, first you have to find a group of other dragons who are willing to take you in and put you through the necessary trials, which require a lot of imagination to complete.
Putting aside the obvious physiological, and psychological, changes a potential dragon is bound to undergo, I must emphasize that the dragons assessing you will make you use a computer-with Internet connection, of course-a great deal during their evaluation of your worthiness. They, much to my surprise, love to search for things and try to make those things easier for others to find, which is actually kind of noble. Still, they often roar arcane acronyms such as PPC, SEO, and SMM that, to someone uninitiated with such sorcery, are incredibly cryptic and disturbing.
Only on occasion do they breathe fire, but that’s usually done to prepare pierogies or cake, and very rarely to put me in my place (though sometimes they just can’t help themselves; it is fire after all, and they still think it rules). I’m actually learning to do a bit of fire-breathing myself, though I think the worst you could expect from me right now is a Zippo flame. Nevertheless, do not let me, or especially the full-fledged dragons, near your home during the holidays:
I feel bad for the bunny…the other dragons just laughed.
I look forward to being scaly and immortal in the near future and continuing my efforts with my fellow dragons (assuming they don’t mind me saying that at this point). Of course there will be difficulties with a newly acquired taste for human flesh and pyromania; then again, it also means immortality, a lot of Internet usage, and fire-breath.